Sanity is worth it's weight in Yaoi
by tallgeese
Summary: Koenma loses his mind, leading to many unusual things. The Yaoi part won't make sense 'til later.
1. Default Chapter

Forward:

SANITY IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN YAOI  
  
wherein the cast of YYH systematically goes insane. I intend to start publication today with a new chapter every three days until completion. The Yaoi part won't make sense until the end. As with all my stories, I add the warning that it may not be worth the time to read. The first chapter is a little dry, but first chapters usually are.

These are the chapters:  
  
Chapter 1: In which Koenma enjoys recreational insanity  
  
Chapter 2: In which we regard Yusuke  
  
Chapter 3: In which we learn the devastating effects of addiction to Pepsi  
  
Chapter 4: In which a problem is discovered, and Kurama develops an obsession with leprechauns  
  
Chapter 5: In which our heroes decide to ignore said problem, and hope it goes away.  
  
Chapter 6: In which insanity becomes a pathogen, and Keiko is kidnapped by leprechauns  
  
Chapter 7: In which I waste a chapter with my hopeless worship of Shizuru  
  
Chapter 8: In which Yusuke cries, and Botan gets disappeared (spelled as is)  
  
Chapter 9: In which a rabid YYH fan girl convinces Hiei and Kurama to kiss

**Now then, On to the first chapter! It's titled above**

Koenma had gone crazy. That's not to say, mind you, that this had not happened by choice. For indeed, as Koenma saw it, how could people expect someone to rule over the entire spirit world and feel bothered to keep his sanity? The answer to his dilemma seemed quite simple.

So it was that at the next of his overpriced dinners, at which he was the soul consumer of whatever morsel of food his childish hands happened upon, that he made his announcement. He would take leave of his senses for six hours daily. The remainder of his time would be spent trying to find them again once he was done

The plan seemed to serve him well, for he now lacked the presence of mind to be bored or overworked. Sure from time to time he would embark on some escapade he would no doubt have avoided were he sane. Like the time he visited the fabled 'realm of a most unpleasant lake' (Wherein all who touched the water were overwhelmed by all the Hiei x Kurama fan fiction the lake could possibly pull off of the internet. In time it served as a grave for many mighty demons, and a popular hangout for ¾ of Yu Yu Hakusho's female fan base) for a dive. Naturally his servants pointed out the dangers of such a journey, but Koenma would simply reply that having any regard for ones life was something only sane people did. He would then ask them to be on standby in a few hours, when he would no doubt be screaming for help.

It was in such a state that Koenma could be found today. He stood in his office, stacking his desk supplies on top of each other to form a tower. He wasn't certain why he felt bothered to do this, but he was certain it would come to him later. He currently had his gavel balanced upright, which supported his chair, on which he had put his stamp, three spoons, and his pacifier. He was in the process of climbing the tower (which he had decided would lead him to heaven) when Jorge stomped in. He pushed open the door with one of his massive blue arms, knocking both the tower and Koenma to the ground. Koenma quickly rebounded, standing in outrage and bearing his teeth at the ogre.

"Look what you've done! Now how do you expect me to reach heaven?" This outburst caused Jorge to pause for a moment.

"But sir, cultural and religious differences aside, could it not be said that we're already in heaven?" This time it was Koenma who paused. Jorge had made a rational point, and Koenma hated rational thinking.

"I shall forget you said that, Ogre." He said in a serious voice. "For fear that you may be correct. By the way, put Yusuke on some assignment or another."

"Yusuke? Why?"

"Ogre, if I felt bothered to have a reason for everything I do, why—well, I would be a much more efficient ruler."

"That's not a good thing?" Koenma glared at him. He was making sense again, oh how Koenma wished he would stop it.

"If I want to risk the life of my most valuable detective for no reason except the convenience of the moment and mild boredom, then all you should do is give me your blessing and go tell Botan!" He declared at length.

"Uh, yes sir." Jorge scratched the tip of his horn with a sigh and walked away. Koenma began to rebuild his tower, still undaunted by the fact that it served no purpose whatsoever.

So how was it? I know it was a bit dry, but I promise it'll get better.


	2. In which we regard Yusuke

Note: I'm really, really sorry about being so late with my second chapter… School's been relentless. I hope to speed up following Christmas Break.

**Chapter 2: In which we regard Yusuke**

The school bell had ringed, and Yusuke may well have noticed, had he not been busy ignoring it. He lay on some forsaken bench in the front lawn of Sarayaski jr. high, where he was he was determined to accomplish as little as he possibly could. Unfortunately, he had failed, for he was sleeping.

Somewhere in the deeper pits of the spirit world exist demons called 'Hajakajas'. These creatures are small, bear a striking resemblance to nothing (as humans can't see them), and delight in walking up to sleeping people just to poke them with a stick. Understand that they don't do this while the person is sleeping, rather they wait until the person has gotten up, stretched, and had a sincere urge for something hot to drink. It's interesting to note that 'Hajakaja', when translated from the language of demons, translates to: 'one who cannot be adequately identified, and finds amusement in bizarre things.' It's also interesting to note that none of this bears any significance to Yusuke, nor why his sleeping was any sort of accomplishment.

"So there you are. Class started five minutes ago, Yusuke." His more-or-less girlfriend Keiko declared, hovering over him in a concerned fashion. He grunted at this, sitting up.

"That's wonderful news... means I have fifty-five minutes left to sleep." Yusuke replied with a yawn.

"Do you plan on skipping school for the rest of your life?"

"Only the classes I'm expected to take, why?" Keiko didn't bother to answer, already fed up with his attitude. She flirted with the idea of slapping him, but decided against it for fear he might secretly enjoy it. Instead she grabbed him by the arm and began marching him into the school.

"With an attitude like that it's a wonder you're still a spirit detective." She said matter of factly, tightening her grip as he attempted to break free.

"But it's precisely that attitude that makes him so valuable!" Chirped the carefree voice of Botan. Keiko turned in shock to find the young looking blue haired girl behind them.

"Huh?" Asked Yusuke, who took advantage of Keiko's surprise and broke from her grasp.

"Well, yeah," Botan began, "we find that when you need to use someone as a pawn it helps if they aren't particularly good at thinking and have very little ambition. You know, makes them more trustworthy." She laughed and Keiko did too. Yusuke, feeling he'd been insulted though not certain, decided he had better places to be and attempted to walk back to his bench.

"Oh, wait! I forgot to tell you your new case!" Botan called after him.

"Huh?"

Meanwhile, from the teachers lounge window which could conveniently look over the scene, Iwomoto scowled. He then scowled several times more in succession, deciding he enjoyed how it felt. His pure hatred of Yusuke could be felt by any in the room, which now included only a coffee machine and a couch, both of which would have felt said hatred if indeed they held the capacity for it.

"That cockroach... Some day... I'm gonna disappeared him..." Iwomoto declared bitterly.

To this end, I feel I must make another point. "Disappeared" is neither a typo nor a tense error. It's a device invented by Joseph Heller in his novel "catch-22" to remove a character from the story without either killing or moving them. This is indeed a rather sadistic thought, as neither Heller nor any of the authors to follow have been able to explain what it means to disappeared someone, nor why such a terrible fate should befall an innocent book character...


End file.
